Inspiration

Funny how when you start to pay attention to things that are actually going on in your own life, from a mothers perspective, not just the ones you take care of and depend on you for everything and anything, just what the possibilities may be and where you might get inspiration.
I am in the middle of a possibly failing marriage, living separated but not separately all the time. Sometimes he stays here sometimes on the boat. I have a bedroom here to myself for when he decides to sleep in this house. A person can only fight one sided for something for so long before turning their back. Anyhow, I have decided to not pay attention to that as I have wasted, I mean invested far too much of myself over the past couple of years paying attention to that only to have nothing transpire in the right way. So I am paying more attention to myself and the others that have started to pay a little attention as well. It is refreshing to be able to sit and have conversations that do not revolve around my children.
I had forgotten what it was like to be flirted with, referred to as 'babe'. Be told that talking to me is like receiving a breath of fresh air. Yes, having men actually pay attention to me as a WOMAN feels rather.....
INSPIRING~
So I am paying more attention to what I put in my body, as well as how I carry myself. Remembering who I am outside of everyone else. As my own person with my own aura. Not the one cast upon me by the lives I have brought forth into the world but my own entity. It feels really good to start remembering who I am. 
I had buried my own identity for so long that I had almost forgotten just what that was. Then with being more open again, for solely myself, and being receptive of what others, outside of these walls that bind me, I remember.....
A woman, a sexual being, a soul that deserves nurturing. A heart that needs healing and care. A body that needs kindness and support (oh how the years have started to catch up with me). A voice that needs to be heard and a spirit that needs to flow free, just as it once use to.
This does not mean I am abandoning my post and running away from it all. Quite the contrary. This means I am ready to take hold of myself and move forward. Setting a path and following it. Who knows, maybe I will even go on a date or two for some much needed fun. A little fun never hurt anyone did it?
Who knows maybe I will find a bit more inspiration.....