Oh where did I go?

Now in my 40's I am wondering what happened to the woman, the MILF I use to be. Oh where in the hell has that woman gone? Oh yeah, that use to be me.

I use to wear short dresses, high heels and could make any man and even some women turn their heads and drop their jaws. While I do find myself still attractive, I miss HER. That chic who, while a mother of one, had it ALL going on.

My body was banging, my mind was clear and I knew what I wanted out of my life and which direction I wanted it to go in. Then something happened.

I met someone, fell in love, had two more children and got LOST along the way. Giving up everything for my family, for my kids. Why did I NOT hold onto the person, the woman I was?

I once took great pride in my body and how I looked. It was important to me, it meant something to me and my self confidence. I use to love putting on clothes and strutting my stuff. 

Once upon a moment....I also had everything I wanted for myself and it was what made me who I believe I am. My own business (independent ECD specialist) along with a life full of interest that were just for me. My very own identity. Now to find her again.

Sadly, I have allowed that woman to forget who she is. To stop nurturing herself and give EVERYTHING she has and all of who she is to her kids and family life, meanwhile retaining nothing of her own identity. Just Mom, or his 'wife'. Nothing glamorous, nothing sexy anymore. Wondering, if I were single what would I be worth to anyone, especially my own self worth?.

So I have come to the conclusion that the ONLY way to remember who the hell I am, like I was before I allowed my life to be run by my surroundings it is way past time that I regain control of who I AM and where I want to go with my life. 

So today is the first day. I am beautiful, sexy and above all ME.